Art of mime, gospel, finally united

Gospel music has a rich history in the black community and can be traced back as early as the 18th century. Before even a small minority of blacks could read or write, gospel music was an expressive means through which they could communicate and particiapte in worship. In the tradition of the black church, call and response in singing and in speaking has been and continues to be a foundation on which the gospel is delivered.

I know what you're thinking. Why not just take the singing and speaking out and replace it with everyone's favorite street art, mime? Why not indeed! From the ghettos of Harlem to the streets of the South Central, this movement, not surprisingly, has been gaining momentum for the last several decades. And now, after years of patient planning, the black community stands poised to reap the rewards through the magical stylings of K & K Gospel Mimes.

According to their site (and why shouldn't they have one-you're not going to hear a radio commercial about them) "these identical twins (Keith and Karl) silently interpret contemporary Gospel music with dramatic gestures and animated facial expressions, portraying man’s resistance of life’s evil temptations and His transformation from doubter to believer." Excuse me, Keith, Karl, I have a doubt. I doubt that a few hundred black people accustomed to clapping, singing and listening to gospel music are going to sit quietly while you and your brother play mute grabass on stage for an hour.

Their site also goes on to say that "K & K Mime Ministry (yes, it's actually a ministry of mime) wants to ensure that their message will transcend every generation. As young adults, they are particularly concerned about the issues and temptations that the youth face today." Keith, Karl, sorry to keep doing this but I have another question. If you are so concerned with ensuring your message of gospel transcends every generation, then why don't you use the universal language of the spoken/sung word-as the message of gospel has been passed from generation to generation since its inception?

Perhaps my favorite belief of the "Ministry of Mime" is how they think that, through gospel miming, they will send a clear and powerful message to deter the youth of America from the "issues and temptations they face today." Keith, Karl, peep this belief out. This sentence will never be spoken in the history of time: "So I was walkin' down the street on the way to rob the liquor store and pick me up a dime bag when I walked past the church and saw these two mimes shakin' they thangs makin' some change and I thought to myself, I'm gonna stay in school and get me an archery scholarship."

But I'll give the "Ministry" some credit-it's an idea I never would have thought of. That's probably because it's fucking stupid, but let's take a minute to imagine how the world could have benefited had they only thought of it sooner. Just think how much more interesting "Gimme a Break" would have been with a mime Nell Harper. Or how much better that New Years scene in Boogie Nights would be if Don Cheadle had on white face paint and couldn't talk. Maybe he WOULD have gotten that loan from the bank!

Yes, the possibilites are endless. But one thing is certain--everybody hates a mime, and Keith and Karl are undoubtedly no exception.