Donning an Atlanta Braves t-shirt and white Georgia Tech baseball cap, this fan soundly proved he has absolutely no idea what the hell is going on. The rivalry between St. Louis and Chicago is one of the most heated in all of baseball. Perhaps second only to Boston/NY, this perennial clash brings fans from all over the country to Busch and Wrigley in the summer months to watch their favorite teams duke it out. But there, amidst a sea of red and blue screaming passionately for their hometown heroes, stands this dumbass. Just think, there was actually a point in time before this dipshit left his house where he looked through his entire wardrobe and decided the Braves/Yellow Jackets combo would be most appropriate.
I've always wondered about people like this, showing up to sporting events decked out in their favorite team's apparel despite the fact that they're not playing. While this activity seems to be a favorite of the mullet-topped, south-side White Sox trash who go to Wrigley for no other reason than to taunt Cubs fans-regardless of their opponent-at least it has an underlying purpose. In this case, however, there is no purpose, no reason, no conceivable possibility where wearing a Braves shirt and Georgia Tech hat would have a connection.
Nevertheless, it wouldn't be any fun unless we made a few up. So, here are the top three best guesses I could come up with:
#3: He wants people to know he's from Atlanta.
Guess what, you turd fondler, nobody cares. Atlanta's not playing in Wrigley, Atlanta hasn't even clinched their division yet, and Atlanta didn't get hit by Hurricane Katrina. And what the hell has Georgia Tech done lately? Their football program sucks ass and basketball season's a little far off.
#2: He's prepared.
OK, we've all been here before. You're just about to throw on your Cubs hat and shirt and go off to see them play the Cardinals, and then you think to yourself, "Wait. What if there is a nuclear holocaust and/or every professional and collegiate sporting team has a plane/bus crash, except for the Atlanta Braves and the Georgia Tech basketball team, who both just happen to be in the Wrigley Field area, and rather than morn a national tragedy, they decide to play a baseball game, and here I am, caught with my pants down 'cause I've got this stupid Carlos Zambrano jersey on."
#1: He's retarded.
This is my vote. Slouched, disheveled, and jaw agape, this monkey stands outside Sports Corner looking for a pity fuck from some homesick drunk bleacher bimbo too loaded to realize she left Atlanta seven years ago to get away from people like this. I got a pretty good look at this guy, and I'd be willing to bet he's taking the short bus home.
1 comment:
Once in a while I'll go to a car race, either open-wheel formula cars or drag racing. And there are invariably people there wearing NASCAR fan apparel ("Go Dale Earnhardt Jr. #8 Budweiser Chevrolet," etc). Why? Wearing crap like that to a real auto race is not only irrelevant, but insults the people there who actually know their asses from holes in the ground.
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