For those of you who are unfamiliar with this turd fondler, I'll provide a little background. In an attempt to create some sort of bizarre art project (ie, get famous for doing something radically and undeniably retarded) NYU assistant professor Wafaa Bilal had a camera with a USB port surgically attached to the back of his head so he could post pictures of his day, one every minute. Let me repeat this. He had a camera. With a USB port. SURGICALLY ATTACHED TO THE BACK OF HIS FUCKING HEAD.
In his own words, this project was an exercise in "capturing my past as it slips behind me from a non-confrontational point of view. It is anti-photography, decoded, and will capture images that are denoted rather than connoted, a technological-biological image. This will be accomplished by the complete removal of my hand and eye from the photographic process, circumventing the traditional conventions of traditional photography or a disruption in the photographic program."
After he got done jacking himself off with his "Webster's Emo Thesaurus," he may have done well to understand that when your project revolves around a camera that takes pictures, it is indeed photography, not "anti-photography." Anti-photography would be destroying pictures, or photographers, you fucking ass clown.
So, what are the fruits of our digital DaVinci's little art project? Well, I won't keep you in suspense. Check out the images I've included here from his website. My favorite is the one that's just black.
I mean, honestly, a completely black picture? That's worth drilling three holes in your head?? You want to share that with the world, send out a tweet telling everyone to close their eyes and save yourself from a surgeon taking a power tool to your skull.
When did it stop becoming enough to just paint a damn picture? It worked for Picasso. You want to be different and special? Fine. Dip your balls in some paint and drag your sack around the canvas for a couple hours, call it "Angry Undercarriage" and hang it in a museum for a while. I don't care what it looks like, the entertainment and laughter I'll get picturing some idiot "artist" all hunched over, dragging his painted plum bag around like a dog scratching his itchy O-ring on the family room carpet is enough to get me to pay admission.
You want to know the best part? This bag o' dicks had to have one of the screws removed because his body was rejecting it. Now his health and well-being is at stake. Here's my question: why the hell didn't he wear a head lamp backwards and replace the light with a camera? The effect would be identical.
You're right...my bad. That would have made him look stupid. And we certainly don't want that to happen, do we Wafaa?
